Bob

December 12, 2008 will be a day that I will forever remember. It was such a happy time in my life - I had just signed a lease to my very own apartment after ending a long-term relationship. I remember thinking as I laid on the ground basking in my freedom.....nothing could ruin this day. I'm so happy! I could not have been more wrong.

I was headed back to my old place to pick-up another load when my phone rang. It was Lisa....."Carrie, you need to call Justin. He needs you." My first thought was that my Nana was in the hospital - it was the only logical explanation. Nothing could have prepared me for the words that were about to come from Lisa's mouth. "It's Bob..... He's in the hospital.... Paralyzed from the neck down.... It's not good"

The wind was knocked out of me. I had just seen Bob that summer and he was fine!

I had made a visit to Camden to spend a weekend with my Nana for her birthday.  During that visit I was able to spend a lot of time with Lisa, Justin, my Nana and Bob. The last day I spent with Bob was a blessing and for some reason (a blessing from God) I'm able to remember almost every moment of it. Lisa wasn't able to drive me to the airport - something had come up and Bob said he would make the almost two hour drive to the airport. Bob was running behind from working with the horses that morning. As we drove away, I remember looking out the window and just having an overwhelming feeling of sadness. My heart was hurting and I couldn't figure out why. Those two hours were the last that I would spend with Bob. I'm so thankful that Justin spent most of the time sleeping so that Bob and I were able to talk about anything and everything. When we arrived at the airport, Bob asked if I wanted him to park the car and come inside with me. I told him not to worry - I'd be fine and that he didn't need to waste the money (Bob never worried about wasting money on these types of things) - I still regret that decision but am so thankful for the hug and kiss good-bye.


I later received a call from Lisa with an update - Bob was going to die and there was nothing that could be done to fix him. This can not be happening. I couldn't breath and the pain in my chest and heart was so bad that I fell to the ground. Bob wasn't done. My brother needed him. Lisa needed him. We all needed Bob.

After Bob's accident on the 12th of December (where he fell from a horse and landed wrong) he lived for five days - finally passing on December 17th surrounded by those who loved him. During those five days, he was in pain but he welcomed anyone and everyone to come and say their good-byes. I wasn't able to make the trip - another one of my biggest regrets in life but I did write down my thoughts (which I have saved in a special place), set a call and with my brother in the room thanked Bob for being apart of my family and told him just how much I loved him. For loving my brother as if he was his own. For always showing the most unconditional love and support. For loving my Nana and always making sure that she was OK. For being there for Lisa through thick and thin and for being such a huge part of my life and so much more.

I can't remember a time in my life where Bob wasn't in it and during those many years where he taught us a lot of lessons, he taught me the most important one in his final days. No matter how awful I feel, how hard something is and how much I want quit.....I can't. Bob would have loved to take on my "problems" to continue living - because he truly did live. He loved life and he made others around him love their life. He was a funny man. He was a wonderful man. I could never stare death in the face as gracefully as he did. He knew he was going to die. He finalized his will and wishes for after his death. Who can do that without freaking out as they watch the clock tick by to their final moment? Who can stomach people coming in to say good-bye? Bob did. I try to remember each day that it could be my last - Life can go as quickly as it came and we should each tell those we love how much we love them...any chance we get.

Bob had just turned 65 years young when he left us. He is missed. 

There will be no Christmas

....in this house! My cats have been non stop annoying since I put the small Christmas tree up. They were eating the fake leaves and playing with all of the ornaments. Really very annoying. Especially after I started to find puke in my house filled with the fake leaves they ingested. Awesome.

Today I finally had enough. The tree is down and there will be a little less holiday cheer in this house! Up next.....Finding new homes for these animals.

MIA

I've been a little MIA the last week or so.....I however have a really great excuse! I've been working my butt off for work - now that the Plunge is over, I can kick my feet up and relax a little more and this past weekend I did just that!

I was overly excited that on Sunday I was getting to spend some time with my good friends Megan and Steph. Steph and Mike just had a little baby girl and she is perfect! I've gotten to see their sweet little baby before but both time was never able to hold or love on her (once was a chance meeting in Target and the other time while I was working the Plunge). I just have to say....I forgot just how much I love myself a little baby. I'm pretty sure it showed that I was over the moon happy to be holding, feeding, burping and talking to their 2 month old. I may have even offered to quit my job and be their nanny......

Really what is there NOT to love about a baby? I remember when Samantha and Balin were both really young - I would beg my sister to let me feed them, change them and give them bathes. Basically, I wanted to care for them 24/7 and I loved it. I even enjoyed the 4am feedings - it's just the two of you and it's such a special time. A time that I have with the both of them that I will hold close to my heart always. As they grow and become "less cute" and do things that make me shake my head - I will always remember that there once was a sweet human in that body and that one day, they will return. My Nephew Balin is still super sweet....my the 17 year old Samantha, well she's 17. You get the point.

Anyway, back to my friends sweet baby.....I really can't wait to hold her again. I will more than likely be calling and begging Steph to allow me to come over and give her a break. I can't wait to have my very own little ones someday soon - God willing.

Lottery

If I wont the lottery......What a wonderful day it would be! First, I wouldn't tell the world and then I would do the following things.

• Freak out. Jump up and down. Freak out some more and then call my Mom and Dad.
• Go on a small spending splurge -
• new car
• new house
• furnish my new house!
• buy my parents something wonderful and replace that SL Benz I crashed.
• go on vacation with my fav family members.
• Sadly, I think I would leave my job and start my own rescue or just spend my time as a volunteer.
• Invest my money and live on an allowance
• Freak out again.
• Buy a house on a farm and clear out a shelter of all their cats. Have one staff person to care for all the cats and keep up the "cat house" - I'm crazy...I know.
• Do random acts of kindness to help out someone deserving.
• Relax. Enjoy my family and give back to things I believe it.

Oh yes, what a wonderful day it would be to have the freedom. I don't believe that money brings happiness but it sure can help to make things a little more easy.

All about me!

That my new goal in my personal life. To make my life more about ME (in a positive way)! Over the last six or so years, I've really let myself "go" - fitness hasn't been number one, I've put everyone and everything before myself and it's just not healthy.

Growing up, I was overly active. As soon as I was able, my parents had me in gymnastics, dance, tap and then finally at 4, I found figure skating. A little fact, I hate to run. If you were in my gym class as a young child...you would know this. I walked the mile and made the whole class wait for me as I walked my 15 min mile. It wasn't because I couldn't run...It' was because I wasn't going to run.

Anyway, growing up, I was at the rink on average 4 to 6 hours a day. I wasn't always skating, I was in the gym with the trainers, in dance class, doing office or skating on the ice. I was so physically fit that I could eat anything I wanted but found myself not wanting much. I stayed around 105 - 110 pounds during high school....a nice size zero in pant sizes (those were the days).

Then I went to college and the size zeros we to a size 2...so awful (or so I thought) - I stayed active. Taking fitness classes each semester, hitting the gym with friends, dancing the nights away at clubs drinking my rum and diets, and walking all around the city of Oakland (Pittsburgh that is).

After college.....things took a turn for the worst. I started to put my job first, boyfriend at the time first and anything else that came my way. I didn't work out. I ate on the run and the weight came on. It didn't help that I got sick and was put on steroids. That helped to pack on a lot of pounds. After that...I gave up.

Six years later, I'm tired. I'm tired of everything and I'm finally realizing that I need to be number one in my life. I need to eat healthy. That's a choice I can make. I need to not pass up the gym to do something that can wait till later. I need to get my butt to my class and make my health and fitness just as important as going to work.

I'm two months in to attending a fitness class 3 times a week. Do I make it all 3 times....not always. I'm in the middle of our largest fundraiser of the year and I'm giving myself a few passes but 3 times a week is my goal. I would love to go 4 times a week but I noticed that when I do, things around the house start to slide....so I think 3 is a realistic goal for me, right now.

Thus far, I've started to feel a lot more happy with myself. I've signed up for a year membership and I really can't wait to see myself this time next year : ) I"ve also down 5 pounds. Which is huge for me.

Water Bill.....

I can't wait to see my next water bill......

It all circles back to these awful animals. I don't fully understand why my cats have to be the most awful creatures in the world. Why can't I just have calm, relaxed cats that lay around and do NOTHING!

This past weekend, D and I went out with our friends - I didn't get home till hours later. When I got out of the car, I could hear the sound of running water flowing down the pipe in the garage. My mind started to flood with awful thoughts of my upstairs under water. I walk in the house and I can hear water flowing (and fast)....I don't see any water on the downstairs floor...this has to be a good thing. I make my way up the stairs and am greeted by two little faces looking at me. The look on their face said it all "crap. she's home. we better go hide." - I slowly walk to the bathroom. I peak my head in, fully expecting to see the toilet, which wobbles laying on the ground with water flying all over the room. Nope. Those monsters turned the tub on. Thankfully, the water was draining and the tub was only 1/2 way filled with water (it had been running that long) and there wasn't any flooding.

I thought I was going to be ill. The bathroom door will now remain closed.

Anyone want a cat? or two?

Christmas Cards....

I want to send them....But I really feel as if they may be a bigger pain in the your know what than it's worth! I don't keep an address book and I have to pay all my bills online b/c I forget to hit the mailbox (which is just on the side of my house). I'm lazy. I know it and you know it.

That said. I think I'm going to send some business to one of my creative friends and have some nice Christmas cards made. The real question.....Will Doug join me on the card and if not....will it be me and my 100 cats? Me, myself and I? Ugh. I need some cute kids to place on my card.

Send me your address though facebook or email if you want one of my cards. I can promise the design will be awesome....the photo, not promises.

Crazyness

This past week we (me, my boss and a few of our Law Enforcement Partners) headed out to Indianapolis for the International Law Enforcement Torch Run Conference - It was simply amazing.

Spending four days with a group of over 900 law enforcement officers and Special Olympics staff members from across the world was refreshing. It opened my eyes and reminded me as to why I love my job.

There aren't words for how touching the Athletes who attended the conference were. Their stories were inspiring. It gives me the push to want to do more and be better - for them.

We also had a lot of fun - We are so incredibly blessed by all of of our law enforcement partners. They are kind and generous and have hearts of gold. Spending four nights getting to know each of them better was so much fun. I truly can't wait for next year and to spend this coming year building the relationships already in place and creating new one.

We returned on Saturday and I was exhausted. Four days of not enjoying my normal 10 hours of sleep was difficult for this girl - Sunday was beautiful but to be honest I didn't want to leave my bed or couch. I was exhausted!

I Voted!

And I hope you did as well! Election Day is one of my favorite days - it's just so exciting. It's history in the making and you have the chance to be apart of it.

I obviously hope that my pick wins and it will be a late night as I wait for all the votes to filter though!

Pure Yummyness!

This past weekend I decided I needed to have cheesy scalloped potatoes and NOT that crap that comes from a box. So I did the old Google search and found this AMAZING recipe! Basically, I can't get enough of these things in my mouth. Amazing.

I wish I'd taken a photo but I forgot...and I'm not about to show you the one serving left in the pan. Just a few notes....This is really a super easy dish to make. I added 2 cups of cheese to my milk and onion mixture and I'm glad I did......here you go. I hope you enjoy as much as I did.

1/2 onion, chopped

4 tablespoons margarine

4 tablespoons flour

1/2 teaspoon salt

1/4 teaspoon pepper

2 cups milk

1/2 cup half-and-half

6 cups potatoes, peeled and sliced

2 cups cheddar cheese, shredded

 

 

Directions:

1. Use a big pot

 

2 .Saute chopped onions in margarine til soft but not browned.

 

3. In small bowl, combine flour, salt and pepper.

 

4. Stir flour mixture into onion mixture then add milk and half and half and stir and cook over medium heat until mixture begins to thicken (about 3 minutes)

 

5. Turn off heat.

 

6. Add 1 1/2 cups shredded cheddar to the sauce and stir til melted and smooth.

 

7. Add sliced potatoes and stir well to combine.

 

8. Pour mixture into a 9 by 13 casserole dish that you have sprayed with Pam

 

9. Cover with foil and bake at 350 for 35 minutes.

 

10. Sprinkle cheese on top - 1/2 cup  

 

11. Return to oven to bake another 30 minutes or so or until potatoes are soft, cheese is melted and edges begin to lightly brown.

 

12. Let stand a few minutes before serving to allow sauce to thicken.

I love CA!

(taken on the beach at Half Moon Bay during our bike ride)

 

This past March, Megan and I packed our bags to visit Napa, San Fran and Half Moon Bay, CA and these three wonderful people, my Aunt D and Uncle R (who live in Half Moon Bay) and Laura, one of my very best friends from back home (shes not pictured). Let me start off by saying, my parents should have sent me to CA every year when I was growing up. I LOVE IT!

 

We were in CA for 8 days but before we left we headed up to 7 Springs for a couples weekend creating a nice long 10 day vacation! Score. This was the best photo I could get of Doug and I - He was very thirsty and ready to throw more beers back with the boys. (He will kill me if he ever see's this photo)

 

 

This was one of the very first photos we snapped and can I just tell you - Napa, CA is amazing. We drank wine for 2 days and enjoyed every drop and bite of food. What a dream it must be to live there. While in Napa, we were able to say a quick hello to Laura.

 

After spending two amazing days in Napa, we packed up the car (with boxes of wine), cried a lot and drove to San Fran to spend the night and check out a pretty cool play. San Fran is overwhelming for someone like me - so many people, cars and newness. Once we figured things out we had a blast.

The rest of our trip was spent in Half Moon Bay and driving in to explore San Fran (only about a 30 min drive depending on who's driving)! We loved it. My Aunt D and Uncle R put us up in a beautiful hotel (one that my Uncle designed and built) that overlooked the bay. This was my very first real vacation as an adult and it was worth every penny. I'll be heading back out to Napa/San Fran for a long weekend in Jan. and I basically can't wait.

Half Moon Bay

Cheese plate in Napa - Yummy!



Molly.....

This is Molly at 6 months.....

I was single, living in a 1 bedroom apartment (with cats) and living a life full of no responsibility. I got a call that a 6 month old Mastiff puppy needed a home. Molly was found with her owner, who had passed away. They were together for three days before anyone found them. I was the very first person she had contact with outside of her circle of trust. I didn't want a dog. At all. They need to be walked, played with, trained.....They aren't cats. I love cats. Cats don't wake you up at 6:30am

When Molly arrive at the shelter, she was handed off to me. I tried to hand her off to the medical/kennel staff and she tried to bite them. Not cool. Not cool at all. So, Suaz, my wonderful co-worker, helped me transport this dog and all of her stuff to my apartment - just so she could calm down, relax and go back to the shelter. Molly may look small in the 1st photo but she's a 60lb "puppy" with one heck of a snap. Molly was aggressive towards Suaz and this scared me.....I didn't want to be attacked by a dog, along in my apartment....when would I be found?!?! but after a talk and vote of confidence from Suaz and one of the amazing medical staff members, I felt I was good to be left alone with this beast.

Our first night was hard. I lived in fear of this dog - almost half my weigh. I wasn't looking for a dog bite. I wasn't looking for a dog. She had not had anything in 3 days. She had not used the bathroom in 3 days - she was not in a good place.

Molly is a monster. She's headstrong, overly smart and full of so much love!!

This cute little face changed my life. We walked 6 times a day (about 3 miles each walk). We had two feedings a day and she ate all my remote controls, phones, shoes and anything else she could get her teeth on. However, I love her. I was told that she may be best off if "put down" - no way! Over the last few years (almost two) we have done 100% positive reinforcement with Molly. Everyone she's meeting is a positive experience. Once she meets you - she loves you. It's those first few moments that may cause you to mess your pants.

 1st Christmas

 

1st Easter

I truly love this dog. She pushed me to buy my first house. She pushed me to realize that there are many more things important than drinking or spending all night out. She made me realize that love truly is unconditional. I didnt care how many hours we spent learning lessons as long as we were learning something (not trying to bite people....)

She's been a bad girl. She still has a very long way to go till she could be the perfect dog.....but you know what, she's my perect dog. She acts how I can't. 9 out of 10 times.....she trys to bite people I wish I could bite.

Right now Molly lives with my parents. It seems like she does best with other dogs. They give her a lot of confidence. I miss Molly - I miss her face. Right now, she is where she belongs. I travel for work and she was kicked out of doggie daycare for trying to bite the staff (embarasing!). My parents do an amazing job with her. They are able to expose her to people (with her dog friends to help support), my Mom is home all day to keep her busy and they just love her. I'm still her person and it breaks my heart and hers when I leave but right now, she needs my parnets.

 

First week as "my dog"

 

In the new house - about a year old

 

One of the very first times out of the crate all day

 

Molly and her best friend, LeAnne



My "Life" vs. My "Real" Life

I'm a planner. No seriously, I'm a planner. I plan each and every day out to the second. It's a character flaw....I bother people...heck I bother myself. 12 years ago, I had a pretty great plan for Carrie. I would graduate Avon Grove High School, attend ACU, meet a doctor/lawyer, get married right after college, move back to Landenberg, live in my $600,000+ house, drive a new Benz, have 3.5 kids by 28 and spend all day living a joyful life with my kids and husband, all while volunteering at an animal shelter. Jealous? So am I. That would have been a cool life!

So, I did graduate from AG. I did attend ACU but then 9/11 happened and I realized that family was number 1. I left ACU after my first year and transferred to PITT (the first word I could spell was PIT by the way) and my dreams took a turn. I've dated lots of future lawyers, doctors and successful businessman but they were turds.....ask my friends. They weren't my match. I graduated college and realized that I enjoyed working (not every day but most), I worked really hard and bought my first home (not $600,000 +) but one great house, I drive a nice car....but it's no Benz (2013!), I have kids....but they have 4 legs and lots of fur. I also spend all day living a joyful life with my amazing boyfriend (who is amazing! Smart and talented) and guess what, I found that job in animal rescue....and realized it breaks your heart and turns your world upside down when you realize that people are so awful!

I'm less than a year from reaching 30 - I use to thing 30 was sooooo OLD. I don't feel old. I feel young and as if my whole life is waiting for me. I know I'll have my "dreams" but my dreams may just be tailored to a more mature and reasonable Carrie.

Plans are great but when you realize that plans need to change (and often time for the better) things seem to fall in place. My blood pressure.....that's another story.

Home improvements......

Did you know that home improvements aren't as quick as an hour show?! Me either.

I was fairly lucky. This house was remodeled from head to toe (for the most part) they didn't touch the bathroom which is just one solid room of tile and blueness.....ugh but it's grown on me. Mainly due to the fact that I refuse to tackle that project.

The first area of updating (Hucker style) took place in the kitchen - don't get me wrong, I had a lovely kitchen but it just needed one little thing.....a dishwasher. Who can live in 2012 without a dishwasher? Not this girl. After almost 4 months of slaving away daily washing dishes, my wonderful parents came out and saved the day!

Before

 

 

A "new" dishwasher, new counters, pot hanging rack and here you go......I love it

 

 

 

 

My parents are wonderful! My Dad did all the work with a little help from me and my Mom. I love when they come to visit!

 

 

Up next......A long time later....I put a little stain on the stairs. They were ugly and basement like. Now they look much better and I almost don't mind walking down them to do laundry.....Almost.

 





 

Up next.....finish the basement. I would like to do something with the floors. They are UGLY! but the floor isn't level, leaving me with a huge project of leveling the floors and then putting down a new floor. Will it get done? I'm not sure. For now, it will do. 

Over a year Later....

 

Where has the time gone? It's already been 15 months since I moved into my home. Owning a home is wonderful and painful all at the same time. I LOVE that this is MY home and that I can do what I please, when I please. What I miss about apartment living is the lack of responsibility. I miss those lazy weekends, not full of pulling weeds, cutting the grass, planting flowers and trying to make your yard look as if an actual adult lives inside. Once you make your way through summer you enter the wonderful world of LEAVES. To be honest, I'm not sure which is better...leaves or grass? You slowly make yourself believe its the grass. Then just as you think you can't stand to pull out that mower one more time, you move into winter and snow. Enough said. I think spring may be the only time you're blessed with a little "down" time...however, jury is still out. (Photos of updates to come)

Inside I haven't made many changes....I started with painting the basement....It's still not finished. Then my parents came for a visit and ta da! I have a dishwasher and new counters. I then finished the stairs to the basement. I really do feel that once I have the house 100%.....It will be time to move on to a new house.

In other news.....Since it's been almost two years since my last post. I started a "new" job with Special Olympics PA. I LOVE my job. Yes, I still have days where I wish I didn't have to work. I could sit on the couch all day, watch trashy TV and shop with an unlimited spending account. However, I haven't married into a really well off family (or at all for that matter), my parents won't keep me as a "kept child" and I don't support living off the Government.....So, I wake up and go to my wonderful job. Thankfully, I have a great boss who understands that mornings aren't my friend.

For real this time.....I will update the blog. I don't promise that you will want to read but I will update.